Three Months...

It's been exactly three months. Three months since the last post. Three months since leaving my last job. Three months settling in. It's been three months since I paused. It's been three months since.

Though it has been three months, I'll have to say I'm proud of the fact that I have returned. I'm proud of the fact that I didn't say, it's been this long, let me restart in January. There's no time like the present to restart, to pick up the tools we were given and make the most of them.

How it Happened...

I finished my last role, and while in that role, I had a routine which involved travelling to work. While in that role, I had an outside life that involved writing for the Personal Ministries Director whenever we ventured, preparing slides for Sabbaths at my church, and prepping Bible studies for the weeks I would be leading. I was also jumping on Bible Book Club on Tuesdays because that group is a way of learning. Quick note, next Tuesday we'll be starting on 1 Samuel. If you want to know more, reach out to me. So, doing life, I was still able to keep up with my entries.

However, I changed roles and home location, needed to settle into a new routine, and, to be very honest, I don't think I have the routine down as yet. Nevertheless, it was on me to write, so, here I am, writing. I've been wanting to come back and even thinking about it before sitting down to do it right now, I couldn't think about what to write. I feel as though I've regressed; I don't feel I am where I was spiritually, where I would hear what I was to write. All while that was in my mind, I forgot about the weekend when God showed me, in everything, that I am moving in the right direction. I was thinking about the blog's title, Hart of Worship, and how I would try to find something to write about worship - again, all while forgetting that God did a beautiful thing for me over the weekend. Now that I'm even thinking about it - and about this role, and about my obedience - I want to believe it's my obedience that led me to this role, and I just need to continue to be obedient. This will have to be another post on obedience.

The Weekend

Two weeks ago, two and a half at this point, my Director asked if I would be attending the retreat, and I was apprehensive to say the least. I tried the quick get-out-of-jail-asap card, and yes, I know it's get-out-of-jail-free, but in this case, it was get-out-of-jail-asap. Long and short, I got registered, got all the details, and from Maidstone to Leicester I went on Friday, 7th November.

Sabbath evening (Friday night) was the beginning of it. The keyword for me, though the focus was on discipleship, was relationship. Why relationship? Simple - that's what our youth Bible study will focus on in the new year. Through each presentation, my brain is in 'wow' mode, not only do I keep hearing relationship, but small groups come up. The plans laid out for the new year involve such, and I had been dancing with it in my mind because of uncertainty - am I doing too much? The mention of small groups, their benefits, and how they were beneficial in the New Testament churches, all of this put together, was nothing but confirmation for me.

Now, Saturday evening, Sabbath is done, so let's talk sales. Books, my absolute weakness! I always have to exercise self-control when it comes to books; if not, I will genuinely go broke. So a representative from Stanborough Press is on stage talking about some of the books they have, and I'm like, okay, cool. Then she gets to The Character of God. Now I'm interested. Now I want to know more, the second we get a break, I head to the book store we now have in the hotel, and I said, if I have the exact amount in cash, I will buy it. The book cost £12.95, and I had £15 in my purse, so off to my room I went, got the change, and bought the book. I thought this was my biggest testimony.

Sunday, my Lord God on High said He would go one up. We had a break, and I had already looked at the free resources that were on the table, but back to the table I went. Saw a book on 40 days of prayer, read the blurb, flicked through some pages, liked it, put it back. Now, I'm stepping out of someone's way, telling myself to step away from the table, but I wouldn't leave. I saw a book titled 'Discipleship Handbook', intrigued, I picked it up to look at the blurb. Nothing. But, a wonderful sis next to me said, "She's just said that's a good one, you should get it". I began to tell her there was a reason I had left my purse in my bag, and she took out a £20 note and handed it to me. She wouldn't let me leave without getting that book.

He showed me that I am on the right track and that He will provide. There's also a third thing, but that's for another time; it needs its own space.

Let's Wrap Up

So, in all of that, I guess I can say, when God nudges you to do something, don't second-guess. Just run with it. Had I not, I would have spent hours and days trying to think of the perfect thing to write.

I don't know who this was for, but if you are the one, realise this: had I started overthinking what to write, I would have missed this moment to bless you. God would have used someone else, no doubt, but that lesson wouldn't be here, not for you, and not for me.

Whatever He is urging you to do, do it. He will sort out the finer details; you need to begin.